Advice 101

At exactly noon, I was at Aunt Tina’s house. I found her at the lawn playing a ball game with her kids. She gave me a tight hug and asked I join them. I sat down next to her.

“So, what is bothering you?” she asked.

“Huh?”          

“What is it Catherine? Something is bothering you.”

“How did you know?” I asked.

“I could hear it from your voice yesterday.”

“Oh, that. It’s nothing much auntie.”

“Stop lying to me.”                 

“It’s my marriage auntie. Things are not going fine.” I started. “I’m getting frustrated.”

“Oh Catherine, we all get frustrated. You are not alone.”

I took a couple of seconds before continuing. “Fred has changed. He is not the man I knew.”

“What do you mean by that?” She asked.

“He behaves differently. He acts like a different person.”

“Most people go through that Catherine. Even you have changed.”

“How?”

“You are acting more mature than before.” Aunt Tina said. “Maybe Fred has changed too but in a different way than he was before.”

“I know.”

“You see, dating is very different to being in a marriage. Marriage is a new whole game and you have to accept and learn the partner’s behavior. You are still learning how to live with him. If he does something that irritates you, sit him down and talk to him. Getting mad without saying anything won’t help as he will not know the exact mistake he did.” Aunt Tina continued.

I nodded.

“Take it easy dear. We all had a different view of marriage before entering it. It takes patience to build a good and stable marriage.”

After we were done talking, we played along with the kids for a few minutes before I left. Aunt Tina really gave me good advice. Although I was kind of stubborn to accept the main issues, I knew I had to go and deal with them. In the house, I found Fred still on the couch playing the video game. I wasn’t sure whether to start the conversation at that time or after we were done with dinner. I decided on the latter. Since it was almost six in the evening, I went to the kitchen and started preparing dinner. I cooked his favorite; chicken. In my mind, I wanted him to enjoy the food first and hoped it would make him open up to the conversation.

We ate dinner together on the couch. As we rested for a few minutes before going to bed, I brought up the subject. I told him straight up. He had this surprised look on his face when I finished telling him what was bothering me. He apologized then said he did those things without actually meaning it. I could see it really bothered him so I accepted his apology and let things go. We later went to bed.