Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Sam Between Us

Ever since we had the argument, Fred and I had been on the opposite sides of the world. He has never looked at me in the face directly ever since we had the argument. I didn’t care. It served him right knocking me on the wall. Although I cooked, cleaned and did everything as I was used to, talking to each other seemed like the hardest hurdle to do.

A week after our stupid argument, I came home late one night and found Fred standing on the balcony. He was in darkness except for the dim security lights that lit the compound. I didn’t say a word. I passed him and went to open the door when I heard him call my name.

“Kate.” He said softly.

I didn’t reply. I stood there looking at him.

“We have to end this. It has been going on for so long.”

I didn’t say a word.

“I’m sorry Kate about the whole incident. I was angry that you kept on contact with Sam.” He started.

“Fred, I told you that I have not spoken to him in a while. He was the one who was calling me and I didn’t pick the damn phone!” I said almost shouting. I was angry that he was still thinking that I was in contact with Sam.

“Sorry, and forgive me about slamming you on the wall.”

“I am so disappointed with you Fred. I never once thought that you would be that insecure about me. I would never cheat on you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I thought you assured me that you would keep your anger at a minimum. How dare you knock me over like that? I would have never imagined you doing something like that.” I said and walked into the house.

He followed me quickly into the house and held my hand. I was taken by surprised and pulled my hand away from him thinking that he would knock me over again. I turned back and looked at him. He also seemed surprised by my move.

“I said sorry Kate. Please let’s continue at where we left off.”

“And where was that?”

“You know, being happy once again. No more issues between us. I promise I would never do that again.”

I looked at him deep in the eyes and relaxed. I didn’t have an option.

“It’s okay.” I said.

Fred lifted up his left hand and touched my right cheek. He moved my face to make sure I was looking at him before he kissed me on the forehead.

“Thank you.” He said.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013


I ignored the tension in the room and dashed to the shower. The warm water seemed to drain away my stress. I stayed in the shower for about ten minutes then came out wrapped in a white towel.

When I stepped into the bedroom from the bathroom, I found Fred standing at the exact position where I had left him. He was on the right side of the bed but clutching my mobile phone on his right hand. My heart skipped a beat!

“What are you doing?” I asked moving closer to him.

He didn’t answer.

“Fred, are you snooping my phone?” I asked quickly grabbing the phone out of his hands.

“Kate, why is Sam calling you?” He asked. “I thought we had discussed about this.”

“I don’t know. That is why I didn’t pick up!” I said sitting on the bed.

“Kate, I am serious. Are you still in communication with him” He shouted.

“Don’t shout at me Fred. Can’t you hear what I am saying? I said No.” I said walking out of the room.

Suddenly, Fred grabbed my hand while I was walking away and pushed me to the wall. I slammed the back of my head on the wall.

“Oh my God, Fred what the hell?” I screamed rubbing my head.

“I’m sorry dear. I just….”

“You just what? It was just an accident?”


“Just leave me alone!” I said and walked back into the bedroom and locked the door.

I was still rubbing my head as I sat down on the bed. How the hell did Fred become so violent? The way he pushed me on the wall just because of a stupid argument was just ridiculous. I have never believed in violence especially coming from Fred. I stood up and walked to closet to get my sleeping gown but I saw myself on the mirror. I had not noticed that my towel had dropped from my body a while ago. I was totally naked and had not noticed! I checked on the floor but couldn’t trace it. So I opened the door and found it at the exact position where Fred had pushed me to the wall. Surprisingly, he was seated on the floor in a yoga position. I pretended not to see him and closed the door behind me. I went back, put on a gown then back to the bed and slept.

 I woke up early the next morning and had a shower before going to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Fred was still sleeping on the couch. He was sleeping facing the seat but folding his arms up. He must have been feeling cold especially with the weather at the moment. I gave him a gentle tag to wake him up. He was startled but quickly stood up and went to the shower. I didn’t dare say a word to him.

We had breakfast, still in silence and drove to work. No one could have guessed that we had issues at home or between us. This is the day when I came to realize that many married people must have been hiding a lot of issues despite their beautiful smiles that they display. Wasn’t this a bit early for us?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Case of the Ex Again?

We went back home in silence. The reality of seeing someone close to you suffer the disease was too much. I was glad that she was in high spirits despite the stress of the disease.

I was seated backseat on the left side of the car on our way back. The journey was smooth all the way except little traffic on the main junction of the highway to the city. The car stereo was on the R n B and Hip-hop play list which we moved our head to. Mike drove the car straight to his place and we all went upstairs. Ann and I got busy in the kitchen trying to make some delicious food for the two and a half men.

“You think we should cook the chicken pieces with rice?” Ann asked looking at the chicken in the freezer.

“Yea, we can coat it with some bread cramps then deep fry it.” I replied.

“You should do it. I am not familiar with that method.” Ann said handing me the chicken pieces.

“Okay, you do the rice and the soup.”

The food was ready in about an hour then we served. The baby was still on his mother’s breast milk so there was no much hustling for his food. Ann took him to the other room to breastfeed him first before joining us and we ate the dinner in front of the television. We were watching the ‘Crossed Lines” series.

“Damn, did she have to die?” Mike shouted banging his glass on the table.

I was a bit shocked so I quickly asked who.

“Her. Why did the bastard kill her?” Mike said pointing to the screen.

He was actually talking about the part of the episode where the blonde chick was killed by the serial killer. It was a bit unexpected but Mike was reacting too much. We all looked at each other and laughed.

“Baby, it’s just a program. You don’t have to be all worked up.” Ann said to Mike patting his back

“Yea, yea.” Mike said flipping his hands.

We watched about three episodes before Fred and I left to our apartment. It was still early but we needed some rest following the trip to see Pete and his lovely wife Angela. As soon as we reached home, we all headed to the bedroom where we all sat down on the bed while undressing.

My phone started ringing. It was still in my handbag so I stretched over and picked it up. Sam was the one calling. I ignored it. It rang again and Fred looked at me funny. I picked it up and hang the call.

“Kate, why don’t you pick the call?” He asked.

“It’s someone I don’t want to talk to.” I said and went ahead to change into something a robe before taking a shower.

We didn’t speak again about the subject. I was nervous about Fred finding about Sam calling me. How would he react? Sam was my past boyfriend and things didn’t end well between us when we were still together. He had made several moves to me a few months ago and even had an altercation with Fred but he was so persistent!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


“Oh my God! I’m really sorry Pete. I had no idea.” I said. “I hope she gets better soon.”

“We hope so too.” Pete said clasping his hands.

“When did she discover that she had cancer?” Ann asked.

“Angela had been experiencing some migraines for a while so we changed doctors. He did the whole body tests and that’s when we discovered it was cancer in her breast. We had to be sure of it so we searched for another opinion from a doctor elsewhere and the results was cancer too. We have been undergoing treatment for a while now but the chemo is really taking her down.”

“We are so sorry.” Fred said patting his left shoulder.

The baby started crying. Ann stood up and carried the baby outside while swaying him left to right. We were left in the room silent without anyone knowing what to say.

“Oh…am sorry. Would you guys like some juice?” Pete said standing up.

We all nodded and he went to the kitchen to serve us. I thought I should help him out so I followed him and arranged glasses for him. We then brought the juices to the lounge area where I poured for each of us. Ann was still outside so I went and called her.

As we were chatting, I heard footsteps. I looked over at the stairs and saw Angela walking down. She was frail. Her steps were well calculated as if to avoid slipping on the red carpet that had been placed on the stairs. She supported herself by placing her hand on the wall. As soon as she noticed we were all looking at her, she smiled and walked over to us.

We gave each other a hug. She had really become light. I couldn’t feel her body well pressed to mine. There was also a strong smell of medicine around her. Her lips were cracked up but her soft smile tried to cover up the pain she was undergoing.

“Thanks guys for coming. It’s really nice to see you all again.” Angela spoke softly to us.
“Thank you for welcoming us.” Ann said.

“I can see the baby all grown up. Can I carry him?” Angela asked stretching her hands over to Ann.

“Yes, yes.” Ann said and started to lift the baby up to give to her.

“Baby, you think you can handle the extra weight?” Pete asked looking all concerned.

“I will manage.” She said while smiling.

She held the baby close to her chest and looked at him. You could see the love she had for that baby.

“Angela, we are really sorry to hear about your condition.” Mike said. “We hope you will get better soon.”

“Thank you guys. I am under the care of some good doctors and hope it will go away soon. But the treatment is really bad, the chemo is tough.”

“But will it be over soon?” Mike asked.

“I have twelve sessions left. It’s the after effect that makes it worse. The nausea, vomiting, headache, cramps and anemia really weigh me down. I am hopeful that I will be able to conquer it.”

Monday, November 4, 2013


“Where are you?” Ann called me again. “We have been waiting for a long time dear.”

Mike, Ann, Fred and I were supposed to go to a mutual friend that lived on the other side of the town. It was past ten in the morning but I was delaying the team behind. As Ann was busy calling me, I was still in the bedroom trying to fit into the clothes I had set out. Fred had left the house early since he had to pass by the workplace first before meeting at Mike’s house and therefore leave together.

“Ann, I don’t have anything to wear!” I responded back.

“What do you mean?” Get out of that house before we leave you!!”

“You won’t leave me.” I said

“Are you sure about that? I woke up earlier than you and had to prepare the baby. What were you doing since morning?” She asked angrily.

“I don’t know. These jeans are refusing to fit me today.”

“Just wear a dress and come over.” Ann said then hang up.

I tried again to fit in into the new dark blue jeans that I bought and finally after a long struggle, I managed to fit in. I wore a yellow blouse on top then quickly ran out of the house to the direction of Ann’s house.

From the ground floor, I could hear the sound of the baby crying. I looked up and spotted Ann holding the baby at the balcony trying to make him stop. I called her and waved frantically. She saw me and called out Mike and Fred and they started coming donwards and we met at the car park.

“What the hell were you doing?” Fred asked. He looked pissed.

“Sorry about that, some delays in the dressing department.” I replied.

“You kept us waiting for a long time Kate. An hour plus…”


Fred was really ticked off. I decided to ignore him and entered the car and sat at the front passenger seat. Ann and Mike sat at the back with the baby in the middle on the baby car seat.

The drive took at least an hour or so. The pal we were going to visit was a college met and he had also hooked up with a classmate. Fred met him in town the other day and he invited us for lunch at his place. He was waiting on the driveway when we arrived. He greeted us and let into the house.

“Hello Pete, long time.” Mike said when we sat down.

“I’m good…glad to have you around.”

“Where is Angela?” Ann asked looking around the house.

“She upstairs sleeping.”

“At this time?” I asked.
“It seems weird but she just had some of her medicine so she went to lie down a bit.” Pete said.

“Is she sick or something?” I asked.

“You guys didn’t know?” he asked surprised.

We all shook our head.

“She has breast cancer. Stage 2.”

Thursday, October 31, 2013


Back to the work environment, we were almost closing the year. Normally, the year ends around December where we finalize most of the clients’ accounts and prepare for the new financial year. For this reason, we were really busy organizing and sorting out documents in our department. I was to go through everyone’s file, notice the work done, absenteeism and other disciplinary actions that were taken on the staff. This was to be done early enough since by middle of December, the company would have closed until next year.

Mrs. Wright was back from her ‘holiday’ and had already set the office rolling. She was one struck and meticulous lady. Everything had to be done in the proper way. But it was all good, we had to work anyways. Since she came, we had two meetings with her. One with the whole staff which we later on had lunch together. The second one was with the heads of departments in which I had to go since I took over the role of the HR.

Fred’s department on the other hand was going through buying and servicing their machines and server. It had to be done right and also before end of the year. The finance department was clearing the cash and keeping some aside for miscellaneous and bonus at the end of the year. Our internet had been having issues for a while and we were advised to change the router and check into the network cables.

Ann’s baby was all grown up. I had visited her and her mum the other day and he was big! The baby really resembled his father. The facial features were noticeable. The mum too was doing okay. Her body was getting back to what it was before the baby. Her face glowed every time she talked about her beautiful family.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Bed Issues

Ladies, do any of you ever have issues regarding sex? I do. The dryness, the pain and just lazy to do it. There are days when I don’t feel the need to get or have sex. My hormones are just off. This is not to say Fred is wack in bed, it’s just that there are times I would comfortably choose to sleep rather than do it. He is a good guy, very romantic and would go all the way to make sure you get what you desire. But no matter what styles you use to make it interesting, you rather chose to speed it up and get over it.

For example, the next day after the Fred and I indulged in some sex, I woke up yearning for some more sex. I reached out to the bed and got hold of Fred. After fondling him for some time, he got aroused and started with the whole process. This may sound funny but I ended up pushing him away! I was so tired I couldn’t see myself riding him. My hormones had also decided to run away too – I was dry as a maize cob. My urges had disappeared. Poor dude! He was so frustrated with me since am the one who initiated it. He stood up, threw the sheets at me and went to the shower.

I was left in the bed not knowing if to laugh or not. I felt guilty. I rolled over and went to the magazine rack that I had and got hold of the latest issue of “Cosmopolitan”.  I flipped over the pages until I came across an article that was discussing the issue that I had in hand. According to this article, it was started that 67% of women just have sex to please their partners and not themselves. They just participate in it to show their ‘love’. I think I am among them!!!

The article went further to list things on how to improve the performance of our participation in the love making process. Weird! I knew all of  them so that means I wasn’t doing anything wrong. What if the hormones have issues? The article didn’t have that so I goggled from my phone. Oh my! I wasn’t the only one asking the same questions. Hahahaha!

Fred was still in the shower probably doing other things. I went and opened the bathroom door and let myself in. He was initially surprised to find me there but he went ahead to do what he was doing. I held him by the waist and apologized to him for my behavior earlier on. What happened next was everyone’s imagination! We did it and I didn’t complain. Sometimes the best was to deal the issue is to just shut up and try as much as possible to enjoy it even though you aren’t.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Lady in the Mirror

I woke up and peeped through the bed sheets and looked around the room. Fred was still sleeping on his side of the bed in a foetal position facing the other side. The sun rays had already penetrated into the room through the windows. I moved my head to the left and checked the clock on my side of the bed. It was seven fifteen in the morning. Damn, I didn’t want to wake up that early on a Sunday morning.

I was pressed so I woke up and went to the washroom. My nightdress was a little black lingerie that Fred had bought for me last year during valentines. When I reached in the toilet, I lifted up the dress, pulled down the panty and sat on the toilet seat. I almost stood up again when my warm skin touched the toilet bowl. It was freezing! I did my business and went to the sink to wash my hands.

I looked up and saw myself on the mirror. I was looking so messed up. My hair was shaggy and my face looked like it had not been applied moisturizer for over a week. I quickly made my hair and washed my face before applying some oil on my face. I didn’t want Fred to wake up and find me looking like a zombie. I smiled at the lady on the mirror knowing what crazy ideas she had.  I tip toed back to the bedroom and covered myself with the duvet and moved closer to where Fred was sleeping.

The bed was warm and his body so inviting. I covered myself to my face then lifted up my left hand and caressed his back for a little while before moving to his chest. He didn’t move. So I moved on his upper body and went to his ears. He was always so sensitive on that part of the body so he twitched before asking me what I was doing.

“What are you upto?” he whispered as if there were people in the room.

“Nothing.” I quickly replied.

I didn’t stop. I was feeling very generous today and wanted to share this with him. It had been a few days since we engaged in proper coitus. I moved my hands from his face and took it down below, way down. He was wearing a boxer so I inserted my hands inside. He quickly responded and knew it was working.

By this time, I had moved so close to him. My body was already ready for him. He finally changed positions from the way he was sleeping and turned to face me. He looked deep into my eyes for a few seconds before placing his big right hand on my face. He shifted my face to him and kissed me. He did it again then moved his hands to explore my body.

“You wanna get freaky?” he whispered to my ears.


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Women Talk

I heard a knock on my door.

I went and answered it and Ann was there with her baby on her arms.

“Welcome guys, nice surprise!” I said ushering them inside.

Ann sat on the chair next to the door and placed the boy next to her still covered in the shawl. She then stood up and we hugged each other.

“I didn’t expect to see you out of the house so soon.” I said.

“I thought so too but I was getting bored alone.” She answered. “Mike is not at home at the moment. I think he went to watch the football match.”

“Yea, Fred told me he was also going. I think they are together.”

“So how have you been?” She asked. “It has been long since I saw you.”

“I have been good but work has driving me crazy but in general its okay.” I replied. “What about you and the baby?”

“I am okay except having sleepless nights. He has been crying all through the night for no good reason.”

“I’m sorry about that. Is he okay?”

“Yes he is. I was so worried about him that I took him to the clinic to be checked. The doctors said he was healthy. He was irritable at night since he spends the whole day sleeping.”

“Oh yea, that can be a good reason but how are you going to change his sleeping pattern?”

“I try to reduce his sleeping hours during the day by keeping him busy. So far I have managed with only two hours so I hope with time it will work out.”

“I hope so too. By the way, may I hold him?” I asked.


“”I can see he is starting to notice people. His eyes are fixated on you.” I said after watching the baby for a while.

Ann laughed. “He does that especially with his father.”

We spent the next hour or so chatting up about our husbands, gossiping and finally watching an episode of “Devious Maids”. That series is really getting my attention. Since it was already around six in the evening, we started preparing dinner and the baby’s food. We feed him and sang to him before he slept again.  Us ladies were left to enjoy the night away chatting up.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A tribute to the victims of Nairobi Mall Attack

For the past few days, I have been following up with the sad news of the attacks in one of the malls in Nairobi, Kenya. A gang of ten plus men entered the mall on a busy Saturday morning and started shooting at innocent people who included children and taking dozens of others hostage. Up to today morning, there were news that some of the hostages were still held inside the building.Can you imagine being held by attackers for upto three days straight without food, water, and basic toilet facilities? And you cant ask for them since the attackers main aim is to shoot and kill? So you have to hide in a cabinet, room or toilet for the days held without speaking or calling for help.

I cannot help comprehend what the families and the country is going through. The horrifying pictures that were being shown on the screens and the internet were so gruesome. There was blood everywhere. It looked like a horror movie. Why would anyone in their right minds kill people aimlessly just because they were ordered to? The terror going on in the world at the moment in too much.

I have traveled to Kenya last year during our honeymoon and had fallen in love with the country. The citizens were really friendly and made us feel welcomed right from the first day. I had vowed to return there and enjoy the amazing weather, wildlife and the white sandy beaches. The capital city, Nairobi, was well developed and would pass as any other city in the world with its skyline of buildings and shopping center.

According to some news outlet, the terrorists who attacked the mall come from different countries and were led by a woman of British descent. Their mission was apparently to revenge the war the Kenyan government had declared on their Al-Shabaab counterparts in Somalia. Truth be told, these guys are cold blooded criminals. Who in their right minds goes on to kill kids?

Today, am dedicating this blog to all the heroes who kept vigil in Kenya to help the victims. May God comfort all the families that have lost a loved one or a friend. May the country continue to have hope for the future, Amen.  

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Talk with mother-in-law

 Why is it that most aunties and old people insist on asking someone on the issue of kids? I can’t remember the number of times I was asked that question that Saturday at Fred’s cousin’s place.

“When are we going to expect grandkids?”

“When are you planning to start a family?”

Damn! Those questions really bother me. Can they just leave someone to it and mind their own business?

We spent the whole day there and unexpectedly, we spent the night there too. The men had drunk themselves silly and there was no way he could drive us back. We were not prepared to spend there but Fred’s mum really insisted especially on the issue of safety. As the men continued to drink themselves silly, I went inside the house and sat alone in the lounge area. Fred’s mum noticed how uncomfortable I was since I didn’t have clothes to change into and she ordered some clothes to be brought in my size from a store nearby so that I could wear the following day.  I talked to her after some of the guests had left and we had the house to ourselves. She asked me how I was doing. I guessed she wanted to find out if I had recovered from the operation that I had. She offered her assistance to us incase we needed any help getting to any doctor in the country to help us in the reproductive issue.

I was a bit shy talking to her about the matter but she made me feel so comfortable so I raised my fears. I was afraid I wouldn’t give birth or be woman enough for her son. It scared me! When I finished talking, I looked at her and noticed she was crying quietly. I didn’t know what to do so I sat there until she was through sobbing.

She held my hand so tight and she started telling me on how I shouldn’t give up so quickly on starting a family. Most people have issues on getting kids but I should be patient and wait for it to come through God’s grace.  She also told me on how she struggled for a while before she got her first born. She had trouble conceiving and despite going to different doctors for help, she got her wish when she was least expecting it.  
She said all this smiling and I could see the joy in her heart.

“I’ll give you contacts of the best doctor in the country so that he could check you out and rule out any issue.”  She said.

“Thank you.” I said.                                                                

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Saturday trip

The coming Saturday, we were on our way to Fred’s cousin place on the other side of town. Actually it was out of town since we had to drive for almost an hour. They were having a get together for all the family members and I was to be there. No talking out of it. I was so nervous about the whole meeting with the inlaws but Fred convinced me to tag along.

I wore a yellow cotton dress that reached to my knees. It was perfect for the hot weather and also try to impress the family. Fred was in his casual self by wearing a white t-shirt and dark blue jeans. He drove us to his cousin’s place. The drive offered a great view of the valleys that I had always heard about.

By eleven thirty, we reached our destination. As we approached the house, I noticed that the whole of this family had come out to enjoy themselves. Children were running around with most adults seated across the compound engaging to each other.

“Are we the last ones to arrive?” I asked aloud.

“Nah, I don’t think so. There will always be last minute ones.” Fred answered as we got out of the car.

Most guys came over and greeted us as we walked over to join them. I remember seeing them at the wedding but couldn’t remember their names. The introductions went on for quite some time and I was really getting tired of it. Fred’s dad and mum came and received me and directed me to a place to sit. I felt relieved. My mother in law then served me a glass of cold apple juice.  The dad asked if I was doing okay and I answered yes. I told them a bit of how my job was and he seemed impressed.

Fred joined me later with a big glass of beer.  By then, his cousins had joined me and started chatting. It was really interesting. They were talking on how it was when they were growing up, all naughty! They have been having these parties every year at a different place even at a hotel.

I looked around the compound and several activities were taking place. They had hired caterers who were preparing food and barbeque the meat. They were at one corner of the compound. The kids were on the swings which were on the lawn. The house itself was really beautiful having the design of ancient houses but with a twist. Its grey colors gave it a story behind it.

Two caterers came over our table and served us the barbequed meat. We had this accompanied with the food they had prepared. Our glasses were filled with whichever drink we were having from beer to fruit juices. This afternoon really unfolded well. It was nice to catch up with my ‘other’ family.