Friday, May 27, 2011

Pain, Issues and Anger

I heard Ann's voice at the reception asking about me. After a while, the nurse brought her to the room where i was.

"Oh God, Kate, what is wrong?"

"Hi Ann. Please get me out of here."

"Why are you in this place?" Ann asked touching my forehead.

"Ann, i have just had an abortion."

"What? But i thought you were unsure about it just yesterday."

"I decided to go ahead with it this morning."

"Of all the hospitals, you choose this one?" Ann asked looking around the room obviously disgusted.

"Would you mind taking me home?" I told her noticing that she was focusing her mind to the state of the clinic.

"Yea, sure."

Ann helped me dress up as i was still too weak to do anything. She packed my bag that had fallen from the bed and assisted me out of the hospital. She hailed a cab and guided the driver to our place. I felt like tearing up climbing the stairs to the house. My tummy hurt. I was sweating and feeling a little bit nauseated. Finally, after almost half an hour, i was in the house and went directly to my bed.

I woke up after a while and saw Fred, Mike and Ann all siting on my bed. I opened my eyes and heard Fred asking Ann how i was doing. Mike was holding Ann's hand as she spoke. She was tearing up! Was i in a bad state?

I tried to speak but i was too weak to even call out their names. So i rose my hand and touched Fred on his back. He jumped up and looked at me. I smiled at him. He didnt smile back. Instead, he put his hands in his trouser pockets and asked how i was doing. I nodded gesturing i was okay. Ann wiped off her tears, bent over to hug me then kissed me on my cheek.

Why was Fred acting wierd?

Thursday, May 19, 2011


Unable to move, i slept on the bed waiting for Ann to come over. I didnt know how long she was going to take as she was at work at the time i called. It was barely three months since she got the job and there she was rushing out to come see me. What a good friend she was! She didnt even ask what i was doing in this street since it had a reputation of all the illegal things you can imagine.

I looked over at my phone to check the time. It was twenty three minutes to twelve. Time was not moving. A minute seemed like eternity. Flashbacks, wishes, regrets and tears all came. I really needed company right now. I wish Fred was here. He could have calmed me down. I was still nervous about the whole abortion thing and still not sure if it was the right move.He had suggested i go through this but i didnt agree with him at the time. I know he will be mad with me not telling him of my plans. I wish i had. Definately we were not prepared to carry the pregnancy full term.

The room that i was placed in was depressing at most. The ceiling was white, completely white. The walls matched the ceiling and the other bed in the room gave it a contrast. The bedding's were light blue with the hospital name printed at the corner of the top cover. I was all alone. I could hear the clock above my head tick with each second passing. The nurse had came earlier to give me some food to eat. She assured me the food would bring some energy back since i had lost a lot of blood. It was tasteless.

Tempted to look at the my phone to check the time, I gave in. It was five minutes to twelve. Where was Ann? I decided to check on her. I called but she wasn't picking her phone. I tried again. No reply. The third try, she picked it up.

"Hey, sorry. I was alighting from the bus."

"I was worried for a second there."

"I think it should be the other way around. Now where are you?"

"At the clinic next to Patsy's cafeteria."

"Are you sick?" She asked.


"Then what you doing at the clinic?"

I wish she could just stop asking this questions and come over.

"Ann, just come and pick me up. Ill tell you more when you are here."



Monday, May 16, 2011

After the task

The doctor lied!

The damn procedure was so painful i fainted at the table-if what i was told its true. When i went into the hospital, i was not prepared for such kind of thing. I had a weird taste in my mouth, my tummy still hurt and worse of it all, as i woke up, i was still bleeding. The doctor and the nurse were still trying to contain the bleeding and this scared the hell out of me.

After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped but i had already started feeling a little bit light headed. I asked for my bag where i called Ann. She was the only one who could help me now. After trying three times on her cell without much success, i gave up. Where was she?

Just then, she called.

"Hi there?" Ann started.

"Ann i need your help."

"What is wrong? Are you okay?"

"Im in a hospital and I need you."

"Which hospital?" she asked. She was starting to tense.

"Just come along Lakeview street next to the eatery."

"Okay. I will be there in a few." She said and hung up.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Of Tools and Needles

When I woke up in the morning, I was sure what I wanted to do.

I called up a clinic in town after I got a number from the directory and booked myself for the ten o’clock appointment. Despite having hesitations, I told the receptionist to book me up for an abortion. I got the picture that most patients don’t announce what they wanted through the phone as she kept quiet for a while then confirmed it.

Ann had already left for work so I had the house by myself. I took a shower then dressed up. After breakfast, I watched a little bit of cable news before I left the house. I wasn’t sure I wanted Fred’s company so I went alone. Ann was scared of anything to do with blood so I thought I shouldn’t even bother telling her about the issue.

At the clinic, I was all alone. There were like seven other chairs at the lobby other than the one I sat on but they were all empty. The clinic was silent except for the occasional noise that the receptionist was making with the copier. It seemed like eternity before the doctor was ready for me. I looked at my watch and realized that I just spent five minutes waiting.

The doctor instructed me to lay on the table which was right across the room. There was a table beside it with some tools spread over a white sheet. I changed into the patient gown which was rather uncomfortable with my butt out. I climbed over the bed and spread my legs.

“Will it be painful?” I asked.

“Not so much but you will feel a little uncomfortable.” He assured me.

“Okay.” I said.

He gave me an injection on my hand and then sat across me with my neither regions facing him. I have never felt so embarrassed. I felt him touch me with a wet cloth and I quickly asked.

“What was that?”

“I’m preparing you to prevent infections. I think you should try to relax and let me do my thing here.”

Guess I should just shut up.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


“That’s tough girl.” Ann said after I completed telling her about the pregnancy.

“Yes. It is.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Me too and the damn decision depends on my bloody life.”

“I know but aborting the child will affect you one way or the other. You need to make a wise decision on this but not because Fred said so.”

“I know.”

“I think you need to talk to Fred after he has cooled off so that you both can decide on the matter. It won’t be fair to him if you decide on something without telling him.”

We ate the rest of the cake in silence. I didn’t know what else to say. I kept imagining what my parents reaction would be if they eventually found out. My mother is a tough lady. She usually gets mad at anything no matter how small so this would definitely bring out the animal in her . How the hell would I be able to bring up another human being without even a job! I have been jobless for a while and had no savings let alone a plan for the future. Frank on the other hand, was desperate for another job since his was not going on well. On top of this, he thinks I planned all of this. Damn ass! Oh God, I feel so powerless.

We watched a couple of movies before Ann proposed we go to bed. It was already ten o’clock. Since she was waking up early to go to work, I decided to stick and watch more movies at least to ease my mind-after all; it is not like am going anywhere!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


“Did I hear that well? You are pregnant?” Ann asked.

“Yes. I’m three weeks along.”

“That’s a surprise.”

“I need your help.” I asked.

“On what?”

“I need your advice on this Ann.”

Ann let out a laugh. “How can I help you?”

“What’s funny?”

“I’m just curious. When were you planning to tell me about this?”

“I was going to.”



“Kate, we have been friends for so long. I would have thought i could be the first to even see you at the hospital.”

“I’m really sorry. Everything went so fast and I was scared.  Fred was angry with me and I didn’t know if it would be good to call you at that time.”

“You could have.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So what did Fred say about the whole thing?”

“He was confused I guess but he acted like a damn ass. He wanted to know whose baby I was carrying.”

“What?” Ann asked.

“Yea, we argued for a while about it.”

“So what are you guys planning?”

“I don’t know yet. Fred was suggesting I remove it as he is not prepared for the whole thing.”

“Man, that’s tough.”

“Yep. It is. That is why I wanted your advice.” I said looking at her.


“How could your forget my birthday girl?”

“I’m so sorry. I was busy with other things.”

“Really? I thought we talked about my birthday last week” She asked looking at my face as if answers were written all over my face.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Yea, you should be.”

“Yea, I am. Ill make it up to you I promise.”

“It’s okay. Glad I got a cake.”

“About that, who made you that?”

“Just another guy at the office.” She said smiling.

“Is he like hitting on you?”

“Nope. He is just nice.”

“Okay. I think ill eat to that.”

I went over to the kitchen and got some plates and a knife to cut the cake. It was a chocolate chip cake shaped like a doll. It was delicious.

“So what’s going on with you?”

“What?” I asked.

“Mike told me you were sick and rushed to the hospital. So what’s up?”

“Yea, I was but now am feeling better.”

“Okay. What was it?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Ann dropped her piece of cake.