Morning After

The nurse came back later and put a drip and connected it from my hand. It was a bit painful when the needle was inserted but it went well. I got two other drips. I did not get the energy to ask why. All I wanted was to go home. The night was long, very long. The ceiling white color made it worse!

Fred went home when the visiting hours had ended at eight at night. I was left really worried and sleep was a distance away. I switched on the television and put on some cartoons. Teletubbies was being shown. How crazy can this fat things get?

In the morning, the nurse came to my bed and opened the curtains. I pulled back the duvet and asked if i could do a shower. She said yes and I was shown where it was. I went and stood at the shower. The warm water was so tender to my skin. I slithered myself with soap, rinsed and got out. On the bed, there was another hospital gown folded ready for me to wear. Whoever designed this dresses needs to be shot. Why in heavens name did they make the gowns that are open all the way at the back?

I went back and slept at the neatly made bed. It was comfortable. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep only to be awoken by the t.v. It was so loud. Apparently, the next patient on the other bed was changing the channels and put on a music station.

That music was so depressing I felt like I should just walk to the reception and take a taxi home. No..I took a deep breath and just held my breath. I opened one drawer and called Fred.

"Yes baby." he said.

"Morning, can you come over to the hospital?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I think. I just need to get out of here. I am tired."

"Okay, I will be there in a few minutes. Hold on tight."

"Thanks dear."

A Prayer

Fred and I went to bed that Friday night. It was a cold night. We slept at around ten. Next thing, I woke up after feeling suddenly cold. The cold feeling was only on my waist going down. I moved my left hand and tried to feel it. It was wet. I quickly sat up and switched on the lights. I lifted up the covers only to be met with something that I didn't expect. There was blood on the sheets!

I woke Fred up still traumatized. He looked shocked as well before calling 911. He tried calming down but all I could do was cry. I was scared. I was scared of losing the baby. The ambulance arrived twenty minutes later and I was rushed to the hospital.

After undergoing some tests, the Doctor came and told us of what had happened. I was bleeding despite being pregnant. The baby was okay as his heartbeat and activity was normal.

"I'm sorry for what you are are going through but this is pretty common among pregnant women. It will decrease and eventually stop but we will have you spend the night admitted."

"Is that necessary?" I asked.

"Yes it is. We need to monitor how you will progress in order to rule out any possible risks that may occur."

"So what caused the bleeding?" Fred asked.

"One major cause is stress. Are you working too much? Are you experiencing issues at home?"

"Not really." I replied.

"You need to relax and take a lot of rest. Another cause for the bleeding is hormonal effects, immune abnormalities or as in your case, heightened sensitivity of the cervix."

"Sounds dangerous."

"Yes it is. You are more at risk of losing the baby that is why I am asking you to take bed rest and no heavy work. You will have to take this recommendations seriously."

I nodded.

"Good. The nurse will come and help you out with everything you might need." He continued. "Ill be back later."

With that, he was gone. I looked at Fred and held his hand. I cried for a few minutes until I was interrupted by the nurse. She said hi to us before changing the hospital bed covers for me and adjusted the room temperature through the AC. A chair was brought in from the next bed for Fred to be able to sit down. She also passed me the remote for the television that was at the right side of the room.

"Would you like anything?" She asked.

"Water please." I replied through my sobs.

She left the room. I dropped the remote at the end of the bed and slept on my back. The ceiling was too white. It was depressing. I turned and slept on my side. I wanted my mum. I was too scared and Fred was not helping out. He was too scared that he was numb. I forgot my phone at home. I closed my eyes and silently made a prayer to God.

Paranoid?

Do you ever wonder how big the earth is? How many people exist? What about Aliens? Lately, I have been too obsessed with the Discovery and National Geographic network. All those shows on Alien sightings have gotten me interested to the point of sitting on the balcony at night to try to see if I can be able to see something. Have not been lucky yet.

Fred does not seem to understand me so he lets me be. He once tried to switch off the television when I was busy watching. I cried. I don't know where that came from but I started crying infront of him like a baby. He looked at me like I was mad! Since then, he understood the code, all night programs on the television included investigations and peoples confessions.

Do you guys believe in Aliens? Or am I being paranoid?

Today my baby kicked. At first, I thought I had gas in my tummy so I ignored but on the second kick, I knew it was the little angle telling me that he or she was well. I jumped up with excitement and went to where Fred was.

"The baby just kicked?" I shouted.

"Kicked who?"

"Fred, the baby! Our baby just kicked." I replied pointing to my big tummy.

"Oh, that." Fred looked surprised then touched the belly. "Is it painful?"

"No,,a bit weird that's all."

As he was still trying to touch the belly, the baby kicked again. This time exactly where he had placed his hands.

"Wow!" He shouted moving a step back.

"You felt it, right?" I asked.

"He surely knows his martial arts. Is that even normal?"

I laughed. "Yes it is."

"Are you sure you don't want us to go to the doctor and confirm it?"

"Fred, its okay. I was actually waiting for it."

He poured me a glass of fresh orange juice and gave it to me.

"Drink that, maybe the baby is hungry."

"Really?" I asked.

We walked to the balcony and sat down. We had placed two chairs. They were made of metal, with two cushions to be bale to support our behinds and back. The cushions were bright orange in color. We also had a small stool that we kept as a table.

"I was with Mike today." Fred said. "He said hi."

"That's nice of him. How is he?"

"Good. He had some issues with his work with the contract but he was able to sort things out." Fred replied.

"Nice."

We sat there and looked at the view. The lights in the dark made a beautiful spectacle! It was not windy. Just perfect. Then, a shooting star appeared from the east side of the sky. I opened my eyes wide just to make sure I did not miss it. I pointed at it but it was gone in a few seconds.

"Did you see that?" I asked.

"Yes. Wow, that was beautiful!"

Advice from Mum

I am at my desk calculating the bills. Since now I was the sole breadwinner, I had the duty of meeting all the bills. The bills included Electricity bills, cable, water, house shopping, taxes, paying for Fred's taxes, car bills etc.

It was really a lot of work and the cost became a bit high. We all have to sacrifice right? Fred would have done the same to me too.

I looked up on the clock on my phone. It was 6.30am. Fred was still sleeping. I was seated on the balcony of our bedroom. I had a warm cup of coffee next to me alongside a bunch of bills. I also had my diary with me. I flipped its pages and noticed it was almost full. It was time to get another one. I am pretty certain after the baby arrives, I would have more to write from the experiences.

I sipped some coffee and tried to inhale the fresh air. Sweet! It had a cooling effect. I smiled. I picked up my phone and called my mother. I knew she was going to be mad for me to call her this early.
She didn't answer on my first try. I dialed her number again and she took it.

"Catherine?" She answered.

"Morning mum."

"Catherine? Are you okay?" She asked sounding worried.

"Yes mum. I am alright. Sorry to wake you."

"It's okay dear. I was already up."

"I miss you mum. I could not sleep so I thought about you."

"That's sweet dear."

"Mum, how did you do it? How did you manage how to keep the home as well as you did? How was it raising us?

"Oh dear Catherine, life is always one day at a time. Just take it slow."

"It's a bit difficult mum."

"I know, take heart. Whatever you are feeling now, it will be over soon."

End Month duties

"Oh shit!" Ann shouted looking at her wrist watch.

"What?" I asked a bit shocked.

"It's almost ten. I am almost getting late to a meeting that I had with some of my colleagues. I have to go."

"Okay, you run but make sure we catch up." I said hugging her.

"Yes I will." She said picking her handbag up. "By the way we were to go for a manicure. Can we schedule it for today in the evening?"

"Yes please. I really need that. I am having a hard time scrubbing my feet." I said.

Ann laughed. "Bye girl."

"I sat there waving to her until she disappeared on her way to the reception. Motherhood was really looking doing her well. Although she had regained her body back, she had a glow on her face and one could notice how happy she was.

I stood up slowly. These days even the simplest tasks were really hard for me to do. I picked up my bag, removed my packet of pocket tissues and walked to the washroom. I was feeling a bit pressed. As I waited to do my business, only a drop of urine came out. Have I told you that being pregnant sucks? It does, let no one cheat you! As I was about to leave, my went back to check myself on the mirror. I was leaning a bit on my back. My tummy was really sharp kind of. I touched it and left the washroom.

I got back to my desk and started checking my emails. Just then, a text came through my phone. It was Fred. He was asking where the marmalade was. I re-read the text again not sure if it was a joke. I called him up.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"On what?"

"The marmalade?"

"Yes. Where do we usually keep it?"

I shook my head slowly then told him to look at the kitchen cabinet above the kitchen counter. I could still hear him search for it then finally told me he found it.

Back to my desk, I proceed to start the remuneration process. It was already end month and I had only few hours to complete the duty. I checked for the lowest staff first, then proceeded to the rest of the office. It was a lot of work considering I was alone in the office. I miss my immediate supervisor! Anyway, work had to be done. I was done at around two in the afternoon. I then sent the complied list to the Accounts Department for them to proceed with the payments.

I made a quick call to the hotel downstairs and ordered a glass of fresh juice and some muffins. I received them in about ten minutes. As I continued to eat them, I continued to do my work. I had to finish on my deadline on the preparation of a training for the staff which was to happen mid November. I sent the details to all my contacts and hopefully be able to get enough information by next week.

Life is Mean

"Fred, I am really worried about the future. How can this happen when you are expecting our baby?" I asked. He was holding my hand.

"Everything will work out, just wait and see." He assured me. "Now I have to work harder to send applications to see if I can get myself another place. In the meantime, you still have a well paying job and our parents are always willing to help us. Be positive!"

I thought about what he said and it all made sense. I nodded and together, we went back to the bed.

Since Fred was on an involuntary leave, I drove myself to work the following day. I was grateful since I did not feel nauseated! I was now on my second trimester. At eighteen weeks, my belly was really big! My sitting position on the car seat was heavily compromised. My feet which was previously swollen, had started regaining their shape back, thank God! I was also taking prenatal vitamin with at least 400 micrograms of Folic acid. I was told that it helps prevent neural-tube defects on the baby such as Spina Bifida.

I arrived at the office and found Ann waiting for me at the reception. She was reading the day's newspaper. She was dressed in a while A-line dress with red kitten heels. She looked cute!

"Morning." I said to her while bending forward to try and hug her.

"Hey dear. How are you?" She asked picking her handbag and following me to my office.

"I'm well. Just a bit heavy."

We laughed.

"Sorry for coming to see you this early." She started after having a seat in the office.

"No, its no big issue." I assured her. "What's up?"

"Mike told me that Fred got the big chop. How is he doing?"

"He is doing good considering the circumstances. He is keeping his positive spirits up."

"That's nice." She replied.

"Has he started looking for other places?"

"No, not yet although he promised me that he was going to start today."

"That good. He will find somewhere else soon. His skill is top notch."

"Yes it is. I have been wondering why they had to let him go and leave him..." I said while nodding my head to outside the office. Fred's junior, Michael, was passing by. We could see him through the glass wall.

"He remained?" Ann asked shocked.

"Yes. They preferred him more." I said sounding bit angry. "But maybe it is because of the money issue. Fred's salary was a bit high."

"But he deserved to remain! They are mean."

"Life is mean too!"

2 O'Clock

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep. I just can not find a suitable position to sleep. My tummy, which has now grown immensely, makes sleeping a task for me.  I sit up and look at the other side of the bed. Fred is still sleeping. He is not even covering himself. I pull up the duvet and cover him to his chest.

I walk to the bathroom. I sit on the toilet seat and start urinating. Nothing comes out. What the hell? I was not really pressed after all. I go to the sink and wipe my face with the cold water but all of a sudden, I feel nauseous. I quickly go over to the toilet where I puke. I vomit until I felt my intestines coming out. I slowly gain composure and return to the sink where I rinse my mouth. Damn this pregnancy!

I start crying.

I feel miserable. I am supposed to be strong for Fred but how can I manage this? He has just been fired! Somehow, I feel like its my fault. At least I could have prevented this. But how? I was not even part of the meeting that came up with the list of those guys who were let go by the organisation! Since we came from the office, he has not even said a word. I tried talking to him at least to cheer him up and give him hope that he will find a new job but he wasn't interested.

I walk to the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of milk which I heat it up a little with the microwave. I carry it to the sitting room and turn on the TV. There was a talk show on but all ratchet. I flipped on the channels before settling on CNN to watch the news. Christian Amanpour was on discussing the ISIS war. This depresses me more. I take a gulp of milk and start on thinking about Fred.

Maybe I should ask his dad for help. He is a very well connected guy in the city and could have easily got him work. I'll ask Fred about this when he wakes up. Maybe I should also ask some friends in case they have any vacancies in their organisation to help out.

I was actually scared for us. Although I was earning a little more than him, this situation would lead us to start cutting back on expenses. This would actually be next to impossible since the baby was on its way. We had not even done any shopping for the baby items yet. Although Fred was given a handsome package, it would not last us forever. The bills were too many even though we were not currently paying rent. I could not have imagined how it would be.

"What are you doing in the dark?"

I jump up in fear and look to where the voice came from. I look towards the door and notice Fred leaning on it. I didn't hear him come.

"I am watching TV." I reply returning back to the seat.

"No, you aren't." He said.

I turned my head to the screen only to realize that the scream was blue. I had pressed on the AV button on the remote without realizing.